You are your job.

I was listening to one of my many podcasts yesterday. They said something I've often heard and never agreed with. "You're not your job."

I know I'm a person, sister, friend, daughter, etc. But I am very much a Product designer. And a Product designer without a job. In the gym yesterday, I got an email from my health insurance detailing how much I owed. I have to pay out of pocket because no employer on my arm.

It's easy to tell people their jobs shouldn't define them, but it's also dishonest. Capitalism and employment are the engines that power our world. Every day, I turn on my Zoom and say the same things in refined words I've been saying since January in hopes that the listener hears and picks me.

I have adjusted, shape-shifted, and readjusted still, "Unfortunately," bloats my inbox.

I had refused to file for unemployment because I hoped that May would not meet me without a job. After I left the gym yesterday, I went to the unemployment office to file. I'm now a child of the German government.

I guess the podcasters were right after all. I'm not my job. I'm a German government child.

First written: May 24, 2024