taa bu gbo

"Good morning oh." I responded, knowing fully well it was afternoon. 2:45pm to be exact. But that's all the response I could conjure after listening to mommy go on about how she's loving strength training.

"This gym is good oh. If I had known, I'd have started in August. Hei in fact Ehn. I thought I was fit o. Do squat, walk back again. Hei my God. Don't worry, you'll see when I finish and come back, I'll continue in the gym. In fact, I was thinking of getting a fridge to meal prep my lunch and dinner so that once I come back from work, I can eat."

"Since before August..." Ify started, but mommy blocked her and continued rambling about her new life as a gym bro.

"Chidinma, do you have anything to say?" Ify asked me. I'd been staring at my laptop, speechless. Speechless because we've done a whole song and dance countless times in the past for her to go to the gym.

"You people don't know how to convince someone to do something."

This is someone we've sent videos to, recommended gyms, and spoke to a trainer on behalf of. And here we are today being gaslit.

Ify and I concluded that, next time, if we wanted her to do something, we'd prepare a PowerPoint presentation detailing: pros, cons, financial implications, etc. Then send a Zoom link, share our screen, and ask the most asked question in the modern workplace, "Can you see my screen?". Because merely telling her and backing it up with videos does not suffice.

"Ndi Igbo si na taa bu gbo. If you start today, you start early. It's better than not starting at all." She replied but sounded like she was consoling herself for not getting to it sooner.

I'm not mature enough to not say I told you so, I used a quick 40secs of the call to say, but I told you, Welcome. And good morning since it's now you're waking up to the gym.

"Good morning. Hope you had a wonderful night." Ify told her to wrap up the topic.

I'm talking to Ify so we can start a small course on parenting your parents. The course link is dropping soon. Everything you'd need: PowerPoint slides, accompanying documents, tested and trusted tactics that will be sure to get your parents to do as you wish. Stay tuned.

The song that's almost deafening me through my AirPods is Timberlake's Don't Hold the Wall. Fitting because I want my mom to be able to dance without support as long as possible. I must also add that Timberlake x Timberland figured out that one of the ways to make amazing 7- 8 minute songs is by switching the beat at some point. The most popular song off this album is Mirrors, but the entire 20/20 experience is 20/20.