Lemonade

My name is Chidinma, and I’m drunk on lemonade.

The consensus of what to do when you have a copious amount of lemons is to make lemonade. The reason that advise has gone double platinum is that lemonade is fairly easy to make. With a ton of lemons, sugar, and water, you’re set. But what quantity of lemonade is too much?

It feels like, since I took the one-way flight from Abuja to Berlin in the spring of 2023, all I’ve been doing is making lemonade. I traded in my low-budget problems in Nigeria - no power, water, internet, security for one of the western ones, the job security and the woes of living in a different continent. Better to cry in the back of a benz than on an okada, right? I’ve always thought there should be more focus on the issues causing one to cry rather than the environment one does, but after the lives I’ve lived in the past 2 years, I’m beginning to understand that the tears are inevitable because it’s always something or worse, somethings.

Saturday mornings are my weekly trip to the farmer’s market at Leopoldplatz. My preference is the one at Kreuzberg but it’s hard to justify the multi-train journey when it’s the same thing they sell at Leopoldplatz with a single, albeit longer train trip. My list typically consists of protein, fruits for snacking and smoothies, vegetables, ginger, and lemon for my immune shots. I’d bought everything I had to and saw lemons last. Few people love a good bargain than I do. In fact, it’s one of the reasons I shop at the farmer’s market. Well, that and the produce is fresh. I tell my sister that I enjoy supporting local farmers because they support my pocket. We’re all helping each other to stay afloat in these strange economic times.

At the lemon stall, the seller is not screaming angebote like his colleagues. He lets his writing in red market on the yellow cardboard signpost speak for him. “Zitrone €1.” It worked because I answered. The weather has dropped to its knees and taken the best fruits with it. Fruits that were common, accessible and affordable have become the opposite. In summer, the stores sell a pack of 4 or 5 lemons for €1. Now, a pack of 3 inches towards €2. There is no need to explain to you that every euro counts and I’m like my mom only that I’m not moving from stall to stall in Wuse bargaining skilfully. I simply move from shop to shop and do internal bargaining with my finances.

As I drew closer, I wondered if the signpost was correct. The quantity of lemons neatly packed in white nylon and laid lazily on each other on the table surely cannot all be €1. I offered in one of the 5 sentences I know in Deutsch.

Me: Was kostet?

Seller: Ein Euro

He said providing 2FA to the signpost. Even though I love a bargain, I know that if something is too good to be true, it is. I half made up my mind to leave the lemons for fear that they’re going bad, and mans just wanted to sell them off. Memories from this time last year with avocados came to me like a fever dream. No, not another episode of avocado tidings. Since I was face-to-face with the lemons, I decided to feel it out. If in a bag, I feel that most are bad, then I’d leave his stall. To my surprise, most were good, and I thought to myself, even if they are bad, I’d be able to pick 3-4, which I needed for my shots anyway. I hate to waste, so when I was sold on the lemons, I asked if he could sell half for 50cents. He refused. I did what Jacob in Abbott Elementary does: reverse haggling.

Me: Halb ein Euro.

He wasn’t going for it, and he let me know by yelling what he refused to yell to attract customers,

Seller: Zitrone ein Euro.

This is a shit ton of lemons, I thought. I was getting tired and needed to return to the Saturday covers.

Me: Fine

I fished out a €1 coin from my shop Raenna jewellery now bag that I’ve employed as a coin pouch, and handed it to him. Before I picked the bag of lemons,

Me, jokingly: What will I do with all these lemons?

Seller, laughing: For drink, for water, for food, and even duschen

I laughed because duschen means shower. Where is the VHS lady who demoted me? She needs to see that I understand Deutsch.

In my nearly 2years of making lemonade experience, the immediate first step when you get a shit ton of lemons is to inform your friends. The person who coined the phrase "a problem shared is a problem half solved" was right, because Teju invited me over to hers to bake lemon cake and frosting with the excess lemons.

So, when life gives you lemons, and you're tired of making lemonade before you shower with it:

1. Do a photoshoot with them; you need the evidence.

2. Make immune shots; fortify your body for the task ahead.

3. Add it to your water; no explanation needed.

4. Season your chicken with it; this is for my fellow muscle moms and I.

5. Bake a lemon cake and lemon frosting with your friend.

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